This may get long winded, so bear with me.

Today I had an appointment with my endocrinologist. I was a little worried about my A1C because the holidays are evil. Wow. I mean it. I cannot have carbohydrates without taking insulin; yet every gift basket, box of candy, and tin of cookies that gets sent to the office has food that requires insulin. Snaking is my weakness. The idea of taking insulin for one little, bitty, teeny, weeny cookie is absurd. One? That's just it; it never is just one. It is one every time I pass the table. That adds up. This is my life every holiday. But, despite my lack of control and my worry, my A1C was 7.7. And the crowd goes wild-ish. My last A1C was 8.0 and the one before that was 8.4 and before that I was playing with the nines for more than four years. That's still not between 4 and 6. It's an improvement. It may be a minor victory, but it is still a victory.

Tonight is also the night were a bunch of people dealing with diabetes get together for a TweetChat.  I found this out last week. Though it was difficult to keep up, I learn a lot, and it is nice to talk with others who are going through the same sort of things I am. Using http://tweetchat.com/room/dsma a bunch of us get together on Wednesday evenings at 9PM EST, have some conversation, and answer some fun questions. Or in my case, learn new acronyms. My two acronyms for the day are CDE and MDI.  CDE is Certified Diabetes Educator and MDI is Multiple Daily Injections. I think the next page on The Frizbian is going to be a lexicon for PWDs. Dork.

Also this week, is my diaversary (diabetes aniversary). That's right; tomorrow will officially be six years of diabetes fun and adventures.  That is six years of stabbing myself day-in and day-out in order to process sugar the way the body is supposed to "naturally". Hopefully that artificial pancreas is on its way.

I received my Veterans Affairs medical benefits card in the mail this week.  Hopefully, I will be able to use that to get some discounts on the prescriptions and may be a pump or CGM. I want the toys. I am tired of having MDI. Having MDI? Being MDI?  I don't know. I just learned the acronym today. We'll work on grammer later.

Finally, for now anyway, my sister decided that this year, since she doesn't have a job, she is going to play Santa Claus and sent us a box full of goodies. She should have saved her money, rented a sled, and came over for Christmas instead. But it does make our Christmas tree look more Christmasy. I can't believe the spell check let you get away with that.

I know it has been a while.  We will ignore the fact that I don’t get much time to blog.  Even now, I have an appointment in 27 minutes.  I just don’t have the free time to blog like I want.

Last week, I had another appointment with Dr. Langley.  First, let me tell you how much I like my doctor.  He has to be the greatest endocrinologist of all time.  He doesn’t make me feel like I am failing.  Even though he should.  He talks to me like I am a person.  Even though he shouldn’t.  His personality is perfect for a doctor.  He is almost parent like, and I actually feel bad, like one does when they forget their siblings birthday.  He never makes feel guilty.  He gives strong advice, shows understanding without feeling sorry for me, and always has a lighthearted attitude.

Anyway, I had another appointment.  My A1C was still 8.4.  Wow.  That is almost a good number.  Not worse, but not better either.  I must say I was a little surprised, because I was extremely disappointment in how I have been managing my diabetes.  You’ve been managing your diabetes?  I start the day off right with breakfast and insulin. It’s a hormone; not a condiment.  Lunch is something I think about.  Then, I am so hungry by the time I get home that I eat everything I possibly can.  Next, I eat dinner and might take some insulin.  Might?  When was the last time that happened?  Then, I take insulin to try and compensate for how badly I messed up.  I was truly expecting my A1C to be back in the 9s and was embarrassed to be sitting in Dr. Langley’s office.  As it turns out, my A1C is still 8.4.  I’m maintaining the status quo.

It has become very difficult to keep my blood sugar under control.  After I get home from work, Mamma leaves for school, and I am home alone with Squishy and Tata.  Tata and I can entertain ourselves without issue.  Squishy creates issues.  If Mamma isn’t home, Squishy isn’t happy.  I mean that.  I don’t know what it is.  I think Squishy is sexist.  Every night it is the same thing.  We start with trying to get supper made for all three of us.  Then Squishy begins fussing while I am trying to feed her, Tata complains that she has eaten too much and only has room left for candy, and my food gets cold.  Next, Squishy falls asleep in my arms as I walk around the room.  I, then, begin to move slowly in an attempt to put her down without walking her.  Ever tried to move past a motion sensor without getting caught.  Same exact thing.  Tata continues eating and Squishy sleeps.  Finally, Tata will finish eating and then scream for some reason and wake Squishy.  Squishy screams.  Tata brushes her teeth, puts her pajamas on, and goes to bed.  Squishy screams.  I begin walking around the house while holding Squishy because she screams less when I walk.  I do NOT sit down or sit her down.  The level of anger a 7 month old can produce is not known until you set Squishy down when she is missing Mamma.  Hours later, Mamma comes home and Squishy eats while I check my blood sugar and think to myself, “I’ll start taking better care of myself tomorrow”.

I can’t wait until tomorrow.  Not tomorrow as in the day after today, but tomorrow as in the day I remember to check my blood sugar and take my insulin when I am supposed to.  There are lots of things on my to-do list for tomorrow.  Until tomorrow, at least I am maintaining the status quo.

Yesterday was my appointment with the endocrinologists.  I was hopeful that I would finally have broken the curse of the 9 point A1C.  The doctor came back with the results.  I was all pins and needles in anticipation.  Imagine the scene.  My endocrinologists is an older gentleman.  He walks back into the room and says, “I have to remember what your last A1C was in order to compare.”
“9.1,” I said eagerly.
“Well, then you have made some improvement. You have 8.4.”
“YES!” I shout. Not, I said with emphasis. I shouted. A diabetic shouting with joy about an A1C that is 8.4 is just a tad unusual to begin with.  Now, imagine his reaction.  He could have explained that 8.4 was still not good.  He could have congratulated me on my small improvement. There are lots of things he could have done, but nothing quit as great as what he did do.
“YEESS!” he shouted.
“YES!” we shouted, raising our arms in the air like the winners of a race crossing the finish line.  My endocrinologist is awesome.

We also talked about getting a Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM).  I have a number to call today to speak with a diabetes educator and get some time plugged in.  I’m still not sure if I’m ready to have things dangling from my body, but I know I’m sure I want to get my A1C down to normal.  The CGM could really help.  So I’ll start with that.  If that goes well, maybe I can get below 7 next time.

Tomorrow is my endocrinologist appointment.  The last few weeks have been so hectic that I have had barely enough time to think.  I certainly did not take care of diabetes appropriately.  Not that a couple of weeks will save my A1C as it is over a “prolonged period time” and not just the last few weeks.  One can hope though.  I’m just hoping that my A1C is lower than 9.1 at the moment.

Papá and Tata